It’s exhausting pretending to be perfect, isn’t it? We live in a world designed to make us hide our true selves. We walk into school, chapter meetings, or conventions and immediately put on a “mask.” We curate our Instagram stories to look like we’re living our best lives, we act unbothered when we’re actually stressed about grades or college applications, and we try to be the person everyone expects us to be rather than who we actually are. We convince ourselves that this armor is necessary: if we look strong, people will respect us. But in this week’s Parsha, Vayigash, we learn that this instinct is actually blocking us from the one thing we want most: connection.

For years, Joseph has been wearing the ultimate mask. He is the Viceroy of Egypt, the second most powerful man among his people. He is dressed in Egyptian royalty, speaks a foreign language to his brothers, and holds their lives in his hands. To his brothers, he is a terrifying, unrecognizable political figure. Joseph has achieved everything one could want in terms of power and success, but he is completely isolated. He has all the control, but zero connection. He is testing his brothers, waiting to see if they have changed, but in doing so, he keeps a massive wall up between them.

Then, the dynamic shifts. The Parsha begins with the word Vayigash, meaning “and he approached.” Judah approaches Joseph to plead for his younger brother, Benjamin. Judah doesn't approach with a sword or a threat, but he approaches with his heart on his sleeve, dropping his own ego entirely. He admits his father’s deep pain, he speaks of the trauma the family has suffered, and he offers himself as a slave to save his brother. He stops trying to negotiate like a politician and starts speaking like a brother.

Because Judah is vulnerable, Joseph’s mask shatters. The Torah tells us, “Joseph could no longer control himself.” The facade of the tough Egyptian ruler dissolves. He clears the room of his guards, breaks down in tears, and finally reveals, “I am Joseph! Is my father still alive?” In that moment, the fancy clothes, the titles, and the power dynamics disappear. By taking the risk to be vulnerable, Judah created a space where Joseph could finally stop performing.

This is a critical lesson for us as Alephs and BBGs. We talk constantly about the values of Brotherhood and Sisterhood, but you cannot experience those deep bonds while wearing a mask. If you are always the "perfect" leader, people might admire you, but they won't really know you. This week, I challenge you to embody the spirit of Vayigash. Approach someone in your chapter or your region, not with your “mask” on, but with your guard down. Share a struggle you’re facing, admit when you’re overwhelmed, or just tell someone how much you appreciate them. You will likely find that when you are brave enough to take off your mask, it gives everyone around you permission to take off theirs, too, allowing us to foster a strong and genuine community. Shabbat Shalom.