Since joining BBYO at the beginning of 8th grade, I have gained so many things. I have learned what it means to be a leader in my community, connected with my Jewish identity on new levels, and most of all, I have made countless new friends, many of whom are like big sisters to me. While I have an ever growing list of highlights and bright moments that have come from BBYO, not everything has been happy and perfect all of the time. 

Everyone’s path is different in BBYO, and that includes mine. I first ran for board at the end of my 8th grade year for the position of Sh’licha, and I lost. I was even nominated and still didn’t end up on board. By this point I was obsessed with BBYO. It was already the consistent highlight of my week and the door that was always open to new opportunities. I was devastated to lose and spent hours crying over it. After being consoled by many older girls in my chapter, all of whom told me that it was not the end of the world and that I still had much time left, I moved on and decided to become as involved as I could in BBYO in every other way possible. I joined an ILN cohort, two RLN cohorts, and threw myself into every opportunity that arose, whether it was on a chapter, regional, or international level.

I spent this past fall, the first half of my freshman year, immersing myself in my BBYO commitments, and there is nothing I recommend more. I learned that chapter board, despite being a core part of a chapter, is not the only way to make an impact and let people know who you are. I spent every regional event trying my best to talk to new people, because I wanted everyone to know my name.

Then chapter elections came around for the spring term, and I took a chance and decided to run for a different position than I had last time, for Mazkirah. I spent the weeks leading up to the election pouring my heart and soul into making everything perfect. Just like the last time I ran, I was confident that I would end up on my chapter’s board, and this confidence was boosted by the BBGs around me. Then I ran for Mazkirah. I lost. Then I slid to Gizborit. I lost. Again.

Once the elections were over, I could no longer hold back the tears that had built up. While the girls around me were congratulating one another and taking pictures, I was sobbing into my friend’s arms. Yes, I was a little dramatic, but BBYO is my world and though I later recognized that my world was far from over, in the moment it felt like it was. I brought myself home and cried some more. Then, over the next few days, I thought about all the things I have learned and accomplished in BBYO over the past year and a half. In my mind, these losses have been viewed as red marks, like moments that tarnish my reputation. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that though I couldn’t see it at the moment, the girls around me were right. Losing board has been one of the best things that has happened to me. Not because I wasn’t prepared or because I wouldn’t have done a good job, but because losing has kick-started the passion for BBYO in me and led me to do more and more.

Losing does not equal failure. In fact, losing is the opposite of failure. Losing means you had the courage to try, even when the result was uncertain. Losing a board election is not easy, but it has taught me that what truly matters is not what happens, but how you respond to it. Losing twice is hard because then the doubt begins to set in. I have passed many hours questioning if I am good enough to be a part of my chapter’s board. Despite this, losing continues to show me that the only way I can achieve true failure is if I give in to these thoughts. Essentially, the message I have learned is to never give up. It’s cliche but so true. You will never know what your full potential is if you choose to give up at the first setback. Let yourself try and lose, because you never know where the loss can take you. 

Despite my losses, I still want to be on chapter board. I am terrified of losing. When I think about why I am so scared to lose, it becomes clear to me that the reason lies in the fact that I have so much to give. Now that I know that my passion is the reason for my fear, losing is no longer the end of a road, but simply the beginning of another.  No one wants to lose, but losing is far from failure. BBYO can take you down a million different paths, and some of the most impactful moments you can experience in BBYO come from the losses you weren’t prepared for. Embrace the losses. Follow the roads they lead you down and the lessons they teach you. You never know where you might end up.