When I was younger, I used to think happiness was the finish line. It was something you achieved when you got all the right pieces of life in place—like good grades, a solid friend group, and maybe even a spot on a sports team. But lately, I’ve realized that happiness isn’t a box you check off; it’s something you create every single day.
As a 17-year-old, this is a lesson I’m still learning. And honestly, my Jewish identity and involvement in BBYO have been huge parts of that journey. Whether it’s celebrating Shabbat with friends or planning an event that brings our community together, these experiences remind me that happiness often comes from doing, not just having.
The Myth of “I’ll Be Happy When…”
It’s easy to fall into the trap of “I’ll be happy when…” Maybe you’ve said it yourself: I’ll be happy when I ace this test. I’ll be happy when I get into my dream college. I’ll be even happier when I finally get noticed by that one person.
I used to think like that, too. For me, it was always tied to milestones: winning an award, being elected to a leadership position, or even just getting through a tough week of school. But every time I reached one of those goals, I’d feel happy for a moment—and then it would fade. And suddenly, there’d be another milestone to chase.
It was exhausting, and it made me wonder: What if happiness isn’t something you reach but something you build along the way?
That’s when I started seeing happiness differently—not as a destination, but as a daily practice. It’s not about waiting for something big to happen; it’s about finding joy in the small, everyday moments.
For me, those moments show up in surprising places:
• Singing off-key with my friends during a long bus ride to an event.
• Lighting candles on Friday night with my family and feeling a sense of peace I can’t explain.
• Laughing so hard during school that we forget we’re supposed to be listening.
These aren’t life-changing events, but they add up. They remind me that happiness isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence.
Judaism has always been a guide for me when it comes to understanding happiness. One teaching that stands out is the idea of simcha, or joy. In Jewish tradition, joy isn’t just an emotion—it’s something you’re encouraged to actively cultivate, even in challenging times
Take holidays like Purim or Simchat Torah. They’re designed to help us celebrate, to dance, to laugh. But joy isn’t reserved for big occasions. The Torah teaches us to celebrate small wins, like completing a project or even just sharing a meal with loved ones.
BBYO embodies that idea, too. Every event, service, or program we plan is an opportunity to create joy for ourselves and others. It’s taught me that happiness is something we practice together.
Now, I try to see happiness as a choice—a set of actions I can take rather than something I’m waiting for. Here are a few things that have helped me along the way:
1. Gratitude Lists: Every night, I write down three things I’m grateful for, no matter how small. Some days, it’s just “good coffee” or “the fact that it didn’t rain.” But it’s a reminder that joy is everywhere if I look for it.
2. Giving Back: Whether it’s volunteering for a community project or just helping a friend with homework, giving my time and energy to others always leaves me feeling more fulfilled.
3. Being Present: This one’s tough, especially with school, social media, and everything else competing for my attention. But when I focus on the moment—like really listening to a friend or appreciating a sunset—it changes everything.
The Journey, Not the Destination
At 17, I know I don’t have all the answers. But I do know this: Happiness isn’t some far-off prize waiting at the end of the road. It’s in the road itself—in the people we meet, the moments we cherish, and the effort we put into building a meaningful life.
So, here’s my takeaway: Stop chasing happiness like it’s something to catch. Start practicing it every day, in the smallest ways. Who knows? You might just find it was with you all along.
Lea is a BBG, from Berlin, Germany, and is a member of ZWST.
All views expressed on content written for The Shofar represent the opinions and thoughts of the individual authors. The author biography represents the author at the time in which they were in BBYO.