It’s a Monday night, 10:15 pm. My weekly regional board call has just wrapped up, and I’m writing a script for my BBYO separates, entitled “Inclusivity in BBYO and Beyond.” I'm carefully brainstorming questions for participants to respond to on a spectrum from "strongly disagree" to "strongly agree." As I type in my first few questions, I start to feel guilty.

1. I can feel judged in BBYO settings.

2. I have felt like the target of bigoted comments in a BBYO setting because of my background, how I practice my Judaism, or other parts of my identity. 

3. I have witnessed purposeful exclusion in BBYO environments.

I love BBYO. It is my lifeline. It gives me the courage and motivation to be proudly, unabashedly Jewish in my small town, and the friends who get me through the darkest moments in my life. But sometimes, being in BBYO can be hard. Any organization made up of and led by teenagers trying to find their place in the world is going to have its problems. BBYO is no exception; that’s a difficult truth for me to accept, and for anyone to talk about. Most of us have probably had these moments. Maybe you overheard a friend make cruel comments about another person or community. Maybe you walked into a chapter event that felt cliquey and exclusive. Maybe you felt completely alone at a regional Havdalah. Most people probably wouldn't know this about me, but despite being on Delta's Regional Board for two years, serving as the N'siah of my chapter, and attending three summer programs, I cried at my first two conventions. I struggled to find my people at the beginning of ILTC. I've thought about quitting more than once. I used to be embarrassed to admit any of this, afraid people would think I didn't belong. But over the years, I've found that most long-time BBYO members can relate.

So, if all these BBYO veterans have felt this way, why hasn’t everyone just quit? As my CLTC Madrich told me, it’s because, “You can make BBYO work for you.” If your local chapter feels cliquey or just isn't the right fit, get involved with your Regional Leadership Network, or reach out to Regional Board members for other opportunities. If your region doesn't feel right, go international. Create or find the ILN Clubs, Committees, and Cohorts made up of BBGs and Alephs who share your passions, ideals, and values. Take advantage of every opportunity you can: run for positions and go on that summer program (and if you went on one and hated it, know that every program has a completely different culture and you’ll never know unless you try).  If you notice exclusivity, bring your concerns to teen leaders and staff to brainstorm real, powerful solutions.

That being said, we can't put all the responsibility on individuals. Our organization stands out because of its founding principles of pluralism and inclusivity. When we don’t practice these ideals, we lose out on diverse perspectives, potential leaders, and a stronger overall movement. It is not enough to just say that we value inclusivity and call it a day—we have to take concrete steps to make BBYO a safe place for as many Jewish teens as possible. This can be done through coaching teens to build inclusive atmospheres through Separates, chapter/regional leadership trainings, summer programming, and Limmuds. We can also specify language around inclusivity in our regions’ constitutions, establish clear action plans when exclusivity is a pattern, and give a platform to differing voices at regional and international events. 

I am the biggest believer that BBYO is for everyone, and no Jewish teen should ever feel otherwise. By creating the spaces we want to see in the movement, we build a stronger, closer Jewish community where everyone belongs and feels valued.