Turning Lonely Feelings Into Lifelong Friends

January 12, 2026
Vivian Goldman

New Rochelle, New York, United States

Class of 2027

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I was an eighth grader walking into BBYO for the first time. It had been Signon BBYO’s kickoff barbecue and I was seeing everyone in my Jewish community for the first time since June. I had gone in and left early because of how lonely I had felt at the program. I had gone to a couple of more chapter meetings after that, but I was very dependent on whether people who I thought were my friends were going or not. When my friends did not let me know if they were going or not, I stopped going in total until my sophomore year.  In retrospect, I regret that decision so much because it caused me to not go to my favorite place until my sophomore year of high school. I missed a whole year of BBYO opportunities that I did not even know existed. 

Fast forward to the beginning of my sophomore year, I became best friends with someone I would call Mr. BBYO. Though he lived miles away, he sold this organization to me better than anyone else had in my own region. One thing that I took away from millions of conversations I had with him was that BBYO was a place where he felt safe to express himself and make millions of friends. He had begged me to go to my first regional event, Hudson Valley’s March Overnight, and I still did not like BBYO after the regional event because I did not attempt to combat the lonely feelings that I felt. Fast forward to HVR’s Spring Convention, I absolutely fell in love with BBYO. 

That night, I had experienced my first ever Separates  and it taught me that many people had the same feelings of loneliness that I had been feeling. It made me feel the least lonely I had ever been. After that, it inspired me to come out of my introverted shell and make friends. At that convention, I met my two best friends, Sasha Grossman and Alexa Paley. If I had not been encouraged to go and figure out a way to quit feeling lonely, I would not be the BBG I am today. 

Now in BBYO, there is never a moment I do not enjoy.  I am serving as my chapter’s S’ganit and I feel the complete opposite way that I felt as an eighth grader. Some advice that I have for people who do not fall in love with BBYO immediately is to always give it a second chance and come out of your shell because if you don’t, you will never know what opportunities or friendships will arise.

Vivian Goldman is a BBG from Signon BBYO in Hudson Valley Region and she loves house music and tennis.

All views expressed on content written for The Shofar represent the opinions and thoughts of the individual authors. The author biography represents the author at the time in which they were in BBYO.

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