Let me start by saying that Subway makes the best hoagies. Hands down. No questions asked. I’m not here to tell you that Wawa is the best and almighty hoagie creator, because it’s not. And I’m not really sorry about it. I don’t care if my fellow Philadelphians want to disown me or banish me forever; I stand by my opinion and I have my reasoning (Wawa’s bread is too dense and I like the turkey at Subway better). So, when I heard that a man risked incarceration just so he could enjoy his $5 foot long, the story did not surprise me at all.
First of all, I want to say that I do not condone robbery or anything of that nature. On October 9, a man jumped over the counter of his local Subway, demanding money after ordering his sandwich, ultimately robbing the store of $100. The man fled the store, only to return moments later to retrieve the hoagie he had left behind. That just might be the most valiant act that I have ever read about. He embodies the concept of “leave no man behind” while also being a complete manifestation of the notion “get your money’s worth.” Zachary Miller, the thief, a man of interesting morals, fled the scene in his black 2003 Acura and enjoyed his cold cut combo to-go.
I did some more research on Subway theft only to see that this man was not the first person to return to the Subway after robbing it. Earlier this month, another man paid for his meal with a fake $20 bill, but then ran back in a few minutes later to take back his fake money. Yes, two robberies in a Subway in Georgia in one month. If that doesn’t tell you that Subway is the best hoagie chain in North America, then I really don’t know what will.
It's insane to me that this has happened more than once at Subway. Miller was arrested two days after the robbery, and, as it turns out, there were warrants out for his arrest in Georgia and Tennessee for aggravated assault of a police officer. Someone once said, “love can make a man do crazy things,” and that’s exactly what happened here. Nothing, not even the law, can get in the way of this man and his beloved sub, and that’s pretty deep. But, in reality, no matter how much you love and appreciate this 5-star luncheonette, robbery isn’t really the answer. Subway footlongs are just a little over $5, minimum wage is $7.25 an hour, and armed robbery is 5 to 20 years with unlikely parole. The sandwich is good, but probably not worth it.
Sarah Gruber is a BBG from Liberty Region and plays squash.More Stories
Get The Shofar blasted to your inboxSubscribe