How-To Guide for Maintaining Long Distance Friendships

November 3, 2023
Rachel Hasko

Wayzata, Minnesota, United States

Class of 2025

Read more from this author →

I met one of my best friends, Taylor A., years ago at camp. She’s been in my tzrif (cabin) since third grade. We’ve spent every summer together, growing closer than ever before. Especially this summer, when we embarked on BBYO Passport’s Ultimate Central Europe Israel trip, we spent five weeks having the summer of our lives, meeting new friends, trying cultural foods, and creating memories we’ll never forget. The worst part of my summers, though, is when it’s time for her to go back to Milwaukee and myself to Minneapolis. Having long-distance friendships can suck, but there are a few things that I like to do to make it a little easier. Here’s my how-to guide to maintaining long-distance friendships:

  1. Find Common Similarities

When you can’t see your friends often, it’s incredibly important to find reasons to chat with each other. For Taylor and I talk about everything from Joshua Bassett to The Summer I Turned Pretty to Barcelona’s National Soccer Team. For my BBYO Passport friends, I send weekly icebreakers for them all to answer.  But really, you can find anything to keep in touch with your long-distance friends. Whether it’s giving each other a Fantasy Football recap, sharing funny TikToks, or giving each other life updates, you both have to put in the effort to keep in touch with one another while you can’t see each other in person.

  1. Set Parameters about How You’ll Stay in Touch

Speaking to your friends on the phone is a great way to maintain a relationship with them. I like to call Taylor when she is driving home from theater rehearsals to give her a run-down of the day, tell her about the drama she has missed, and hear her life updates. Finding set times to reconnect with your friends is essential for creating lasting friendships.

  1. Find Times to See Each Other

Finding time to see your long-distance besties can be a serious challenge. Coordinating schedules, deciding on travel plans, and actually following through can take a lot of effort. That being said, it’s completely worth it to get to see your friends after so long. Taylor comes to Minneapolis a couple of times each year. Not being able to see her all the time makes it far more special when I do get to see her. It has taught me not to take our friendship for granted. I know we will be reunited again with our other Passport friends in February at International Convention in Orlando. This makes me miss her less and instead makes me more excited to see her soon. If you are struggling to stay connected with your long-distance friends, sometimes all you need is to actually see them. 

Maintaining your friendships can be hard when you don’t have the ability to see them all the time. That being said, some of my best friends live far away from me, yet I wouldn’t change my friendship with them over anything.

PS: Taylor, I miss you so much, come and visit me!

Rachel Hasko is a BBG from Minnesota, and her favorite color is pink!

All views expressed on content written for The Shofar represent the opinions and thoughts of the individual authors. The author biography represents the author at the time in which they were in BBYO.

Explore More Stories

Get The Shofar blasted to your inbox