Losing Does Not Mean You Lose Yourself

January 20, 2026
Marissa Friedlander

Phoenix, Arizona, United States

Class of 2028

Read more from this author →

Being on board is a great way to gain leadership experience, connect with BBYO on a deeper level, and so much more. However, getting on board is a different story. Sometimes it’s easy: you run unopposed and win right then and there. But, most of the time it is hard: you have to run term after term and still don’t get on board. In my experience with elections, it has not been easy. 

I’ve run for the past three terms, and to this day, I’m still not on board. The reason I run is to show new, old, general, and board members what BBYO has shown me. Within the 3 years I’ve been in BBYO, I’ve made countless mistakes and undertakings, but the one thing I have not done is quit. While I question if I should run again, I can’t see myself not being on board. It takes a while for me to find my footing again, but once I do, I feel invincible.

There is a reason people join BBYO. Some might join to strengthen their Jewish identity, for their friends, or because their parents make them. I joined because a few friends told me about it and it sounded interesting. Had I not joined, I would be missing a part of myself that I didn’t even know I was missing. Board or not, I can still find who I am. That is the feeling that drives me to run term after term. Even when I lose, that feeling still drives me to apply for everything I want to do. The feeling of hope keeps me driving for leadership roles around the order.

Every loss is a moment to remember. I’m not going to say there is always a lesson because sometimes there isn’t, and it’s hard to learn from. I will say don’t give up, however. Only 15 million people are Jewish in the world, 1.8 million are teens, and 70,000 are in BBYO. If you want to be on board, run. No matter how many times you have lost, doubt yourself, or anything else, know that you will win eventually. Everyone's stories are different, so keep running, keep applying, keep trying.

Marissa Friedlander is an BBG from Shapiro BBG in Mountain Region and she goes skiing every year in Telluride, Colorado.

All views expressed on content written for The Shofar represent the opinions and thoughts of the individual authors. The author biography represents the author at the time in which they were in BBYO.

Explore More Stories

Get The Shofar blasted to your inbox

Subscribe
Subscribe