I used to carry this quiet, invisible fear that I wasn’t Jewish enough. Not in a dramatic way, more like a small ache that followed me around, showing up in the moments when people talked about traditions I didn’t know, prayers I couldn't say, or memories of childhood rituals I never had. It felt like everyone else had this built‑in certainty, like they were born knowing how to belong to something I was still trying to understand. Growing up in a family who only lit candles on Hannukah and had matzah ball soup once a year, I never really understood my relationship with my religion. However, I knew one thing: I believed in a higher power. Then came CLTC.  

I was always envious of my Jewish friends who got the opportunity to be Bat Mitvah'd, while they complained about memorizing their Torah portions, I yearned to practice such a beautiful ritual. So, when I heard that I would be able to do this at CLTC was beyond a dream come true for me. Not only that, but I also got to do it with other teens, so we were in this together. I was more of a rare case, however, because when CLTC’s Jewish educator, Rachel Dingman, asked me what my Hebrew name was. I looked at her with confused eyes, since I had never been given a Hebrew name. Thankfully, Dingman is one of the most supportive and patient people I have met. So, together we went through qualities of myself and others that I value, and a day or two later, Dingman came back to me with a list of Hebrew names along with their meanings that I got to choose from. But honestly, none of them stuck out to me, until I read the last name on the list with a scribbled star next to it, Nechama—often associated with the act of providing solace to those in mourning or distress. After reading the meaning, I knew that I wanted that to be my name.  

Finding my Hebrew name ✅ 

Step one was done! But I still had a long way to go.  

Now came the hardest part, learning my portion. Thankfully, our portion was divided between the four B'nai Mitzvot. We were each given a few paragraphs of Hebrew to say—I had three. Now, CLTC was just 13 days long. While we were practicing our portions, us teens were also participating in leadership lessons with our mock chapters or doing other magical CLTC activities, so learning how to read and speak Hebrew wasn't very realistic. Our song leader, Jack, and Dingman worked with each teen to phonetically learn how to read and speak the Torah. Besides the occasional help sessions, it was up to each teen to practice their portion as little or as much as they would like.  

Learning my portion ✅ 

Step two was done! Now comes the most important part: practice. practice. practice.  

The day before CLTC, I tore my MCL so during Maccabiah, Israeli dancing, and really any other standing activities, it was not ideal for me to participate. But there was definitely a silver lining to this, as I practically had the audio recordings of my Torah portion glued to my ear during those programs. It got to a point where my friends even started memorizing my portion. So, even though I was injured, I got to make sure this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity was properly fulfilled.  

Memorizing my portion ✅ 

Step three was done! Next, the most exciting part...  

The morning of my Bat Mitzvah, I was beyond excited and I felt this overwhelming sense of gratitude for being given a chance I never thought would be mine. The moment my Hebrew name was spoken aloud and I was called to the Torah, it was like a small light flickered to life in my chest. Suddenly, my Jewish identity didn’t feel distant anymore; it felt like it finally belonged to me. 

Being called to Torah ✅ 

Step four was done! Phew, now it's time to party!  

After the service, CLTC held this sweet, simple, shared party for all of us who had just crossed this milestone together. It wasn’t fancy, it felt more like joy in its purest form. It was held in the gym. There were snacks spread across tables, people laughing, music playing from a speaker that kept cutting out, and was decorated just like a middle school dance. It was perfect. And before I fully understood what was happening, I was being lifted up, wobbling in the air, clinging onto the chair legs and screaming in that “I’m terrified but also having the time of my life” way. It was messy and hilarious and very… BBYO. 

But honestly, the party wasn’t about being celebrated individually. It wasn’t even about dancing the Hora.  What meant the most was the connection all of us coming together, supporting one another, sharing this moment as equals.  

Celebrating with my CLTC community ✅ 

Step five was done! 

Looking back, my Bat Mitzvah at CLTC wasn’t just an event. It wasn’t just a service, or a portion, or a name. It was a turning point that rewrote the story I had been telling myself for years. 

I went into CLTC feeling unsure, disconnected, like I didn’t have the “right” kind of Jewish background. But somewhere between choosing my Hebrew name, learning my portion, and standing at the Torah with my whole community behind me, something shifted. I stopped feeling like I was trying to catch up to everyone else’s Judaism. I started feeling like I had my own.